Lunch Date

Updated: Feb 4

You have a demon attached to you. DEMON?! I have a 500 dollar crystal you can buy. It connects with my matching crystal. FIVE HUNDRED?! I can fight it before it's too late from my house. TOO LATE?! Don't have the money? Oh, well. Sorry to hear that. Best of luck to you.

Excuse me while I throw up.


How did I end up here? Well, I couldn't sleep? For 6 months straight, I had horrible night terrors, which progressed to what I later learned was stage 2 sleep paralysis. Sounds great, right? There is a famous painting by (please hold…) Henry Fuseli that interprets sleep paralysis. Its title was just as fitting as the topic, "Nightmare" 1781. He painted a woman sleeping haphazardly on a bed with the most charming demon sitting upon her chest, making it impossible for her to move or run away. In the background, a creepy horse.


The Nightmare 1781, Fuseli

What's stage 1? Oh, let me enlighten you. With sleep paralysis stage 1, you wake up in the middle of the night still under paralysis. Why does this happen? Think about it as a precaution. Your body does just if you want to jump off the balcony in London to fly alongside Peter Pan in a fantastic, enjoyable dream. A similar phenomenon is sleepwalking. You are supposed to be paralyzed, but alas, you are walking around your house trying to find the buried treasure as you are in your dream. Again, pleasant. Many say stage 1 feels like something…or someone…is sitting on their chest. Oh, and you can't move. Sound appealing? An invisible force, holding you down against your will while you are fully conscious but can't do anything about it.

And some say lullabies do the trick.


Hasn't this been a wonderful prelude to stage 2? Yeah, stage two is a whole different ball game. Imagine. You are in the scariest nightmare of your life, and the scary monster is coming after you in the "dream." You know when you wake up just in time and collect your thoughts safely in your bed with nothing in your room? Welp. What would you do if the monster was instead in your room still coming after you?

I still prefer alarm clocks.


So, you could say I couldn't sleep.

Yep. I saw shadow people. Worst part? I would always wake…startle whoever was in the house with my panicked- AH!!. It wasn't a fun time. Not for me, not my family. I did some research on sleep paralysis, and the best thing you could do was "calmly go back to sleep"- BAH. If you saw a shadowy wraith chilling out in your dresser drawers, I highly doubt you could "calmy" fall back to sleep.

This advice is really working for me so far.

I hit month six, and you could say I was starting to lose it. That's how they break the military, right? Taking their sleep away? So I've heard Welp. I was broke and ready to swing my surrender flag. It was April and my sister's birthday month. "Let's go to Salem!" Maybe someone could help me there? At this point, I was up for anything to sleep. The wraiths have moved in and ent payin rent.

Eviction time.


Dark, dreary day. Rain puddles everywhere. Folk surrounding burned witch monuments with black umbrellas and ghostly travel guides beautifully adorned in all black. Wonderful birthday outing on a pleasant Spring day. I find my sister at the "Tarot Reader's" building. My stomach feels as if it's going to betray the breakfast I had intended to digest. She is beaming. I want to puke.

In we go.

There are skulls everywhere, including on the skin of most of the readers. One wears a black cape. Great. They take our names and information and purchase our "readings." A man opens a purple velvet curtain and asks me to come in and have a seat.

Reader: "I work with the Angels and must have permission to work with your guardian Angels."

Me: "Oh…um, sure? I'm not sure how this works?"


Me: "!...."

Reader: "What is it you came here to seek?"

Me: Um…I can't sleep... starts to sob. I keep seeing shadow people, and I am very scared…."

Reader: "STOP! My Angel is warning me. Yes, yes, you have a dark presence…following you. A demon. Quickly. Purchase this crystal. I have the twin. I will take care of it from my home. The crystal is $500.

Me: Complete panic. I don't have the money!? What do I do?!! Continues to cry

Reader: Don't have the money? Oh, well. Sorry to hear that. Best of luck to you. Please check out our gift shop section on the right before you leave. Crystals are 20% off this week.

Me: "..."

My demon and I went to lunch after. We shared Chinese food. We sang happy birthday to my sister, jumped in our cars, and enjoyed an hour's drive in complete silence and horror.

What the hell am I supposed to do.

Thank you for reading part 1 of the beginning of my spiritual awakening and how it all started! Find my story interesting? Part 2 is on the way! Find out where my new buddy and I go out to eat next.

And what I learned about my little friend.

On that note!

Very Best & Brightest!



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